Deep Breath

My heart momentarily stopped. Mouth dry and breath quickened, I stared at the digital text that popped onto my screen. Brain aneurysm? But she was so young, close to my age in fact, with a little one to raise. We worked closely together at one point and, while expecting around the same time, we exchanged pregnancy tips, fashion trends and commiserated on the work-life balance of female attorneys. I came to really adore her, her perspective on life, her joie de vivre. Although only colleagues, we shared a connection. Notwithstanding, life and our careers eventually lead us both in different directions. Indeed, after several years, we settled into the ephemeral, ever-prosaic cyber relationship on Facebook. Tapered down to the occasional “likes” of our toddlers’ adorable images, I yet found myself distraught with this new reality. I should have reached out, checked in from time to time. How can my friend be gone?

I thought back to the recent news of Vice President Joe Biden’s son. Similarly, Beau Biden was only 46 years old when he succumbed to brain cancer after an illustrious career as a war veteran and attorney general in Delaware. Interestingly, the Vice President had suffered extraordinary loss before with the near death of Beau when he was just 3 years old. A car accident took the lives of the leader’s first wife and young daughter leaving Beau and his brother as survivors. Forty-three years later, Beau has passed.

Both families, one well-known, the other lesser so, are now made to endure. Both souls leaving at their prime, at what we deem as unacceptable ages. The same hurt, the same desolation, the same pangs of “too young, too soon”.

In times of condolences, we search for answers, meaning. But in His great wisdom, the Lord’s plans for us are largely unknown. As a mother of two and a wife, I feel very blessed for the health of my family and humbly pray and trust God’s Hand as we go about our days. But why trust?

Trust comes when we credit the Almighty with our ability to take 30,000 breaths each and every day. There is unspoken certainty that our blood will continue to circulate throughout our entire bodies once every single minute. As we enumerate these feats, we can only feel reverence toward the Lord and be thankful for His grace.

Therefore, we may not have the vocation of sages to comprehend why we find ourselves affected in our circumstances. However, some situations afford us the stillness to contemplate the heavenly purpose. Breathing fresh air and life in us, only His anointing can make sense of it, lightening our burdens, pacing our exhalations. Only in His presence do we feel safety, compassion, understanding, and peace that surpasses all reasoning. That peace is what gets us from this moment to the next until the emptiness is filled again. This renewal brings us to revelation, be it reaching out to ones in strife or finally completing a task we were called to do. Accordingly, let us endeavor to never waste another breath.

Job 33:4 “For the Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life”.

In Loving Memory of Jolie