Month: June 2015

Having heard so much about his hometown, I welcomed the business trip to Jackson, Mississippi, not far from my husband’s old stomping grounds. Candidly, I also looked forward to a bit of a retreat, being somewhat of an introvert. I breezily checked in at the majestic lobby desk and sauntered toward the hotel elevators. Once in my room, I kicked off my exhausted heals, retired my stuffy suit jacket and pulled the curtains open. Basking in the southern light that poured in, I nearly missed the image that stared back at me. A staunch, draping flag enshrined the steeple of the state capital building. The hairs on the back of my neck went congruent with the alarm sounding in my mind. Instant fear, panic even. I looked around, suddenly uncomfortable in my surroundings. I forced the curtains closed and sat puzzled. “Is that really a confederate flag?!?”, I thought to myself flabbergasted. Besides old “Dukes of Hazards” episodes, I had never really seen the symbol so boldly placed. I suddenly had a nagging suspicion that I was the only person in the vicinity dismayed. I immediately phoned my husband.

“Babe, you won’t believe what I saw outside my hotel window! A confederate flag! And it’s on top of a government building!” With calm resolve, I heard my husband’s resistant acquiescence as he recited what was undoubtedly imbued in the indigene of Mississippi. “Yes, they have that there, although I did not really experienced racism growing up. The flag is just a part of the State’s heritage.” He went on to explain that people have largely accepted or ignored the implication in order to avoid civil discord.

Keeping the peace was understandable. Still, the coalescence of my background and training, being both a native New Yorker and an attorney, only allowed for moral rejection of a notion so vile and so inflammatory. I thought, despite First Amendment rights, there were too many countervailing issues, chiefly the “fighting words” doctrine, that would thwart protection of this emblem.

Well, as I carried on that evening, I noticed citizens strolling by with no hint of recognition of this artifact of hate. They too were inculcated with the veil of inaction. Sadly, this occurred in 2009, over a century after the end of slavery. In fact, the relic originated around 1860, shortly after Abraham Lincoln was elected president and the Civil War ensued.

Even though our nation has slowly changed in make-up, ideology and dictates, obdurate sects have held on to this fabric, some hoping to redefine its meaning to something more palatable. Unfortunately, the flag has such deeply-rooted attachment to segregation and the xenophobic that both time and reframing have failed to cleanse its redolence. Now, catapulted by the recent shooting deaths of nine congregants of the Emanuel AME church in Charleston, South Carolina by a self-confessed white supremacist, unending calls for the abrogation of the confederate designation have been met with swift action by major corporations and open debate among political figures.

From a practical standpoint, are we shielding ourselves from open and apparent ideas, circumstances or people who champion division, intolerance or violence? Are we standing on the right side of history? Are we moving in acceptance and love? The family members of the deceased nine could have easily fallen into the race war intended by the shooter. Rather, they claimed their forgiveness, thrusting the nation’s support behind them. Only in God’s Kingdom is that remotely possible. Such evil was combated with even greater grace.

So, even in our daily living, our moral caliber will be tested. There, our true character is revealed. Stand for what is right and see God’s blessings effectuate change.

Romans 12:2 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

My heart momentarily stopped. Mouth dry and breath quickened, I stared at the digital text that popped onto my screen. Brain aneurysm? But she was so young, close to my age in fact, with a little one to raise. We worked closely together at one point and, while expecting around the same time, we exchanged pregnancy tips, fashion trends and commiserated on the work-life balance of female attorneys. I came to really adore her, her perspective on life, her joie de vivre. Although only colleagues, we shared a connection. Notwithstanding, life and our careers eventually lead us both in different directions. Indeed, after several years, we settled into the ephemeral, ever-prosaic cyber relationship on Facebook. Tapered down to the occasional “likes” of our toddlers’ adorable images, I yet found myself distraught with this new reality. I should have reached out, checked in from time to time. How can my friend be gone?

I thought back to the recent news of Vice President Joe Biden’s son. Similarly, Beau Biden was only 46 years old when he succumbed to brain cancer after an illustrious career as a war veteran and attorney general in Delaware. Interestingly, the Vice President had suffered extraordinary loss before with the near death of Beau when he was just 3 years old. A car accident took the lives of the leader’s first wife and young daughter leaving Beau and his brother as survivors. Forty-three years later, Beau has passed.

Both families, one well-known, the other lesser so, are now made to endure. Both souls leaving at their prime, at what we deem as unacceptable ages. The same hurt, the same desolation, the same pangs of “too young, too soon”.

In times of condolences, we search for answers, meaning. But in His great wisdom, the Lord’s plans for us are largely unknown. As a mother of two and a wife, I feel very blessed for the health of my family and humbly pray and trust God’s Hand as we go about our days. But why trust?

Trust comes when we credit the Almighty with our ability to take 30,000 breaths each and every day. There is unspoken certainty that our blood will continue to circulate throughout our entire bodies once every single minute. As we enumerate these feats, we can only feel reverence toward the Lord and be thankful for His grace.

Therefore, we may not have the vocation of sages to comprehend why we find ourselves affected in our circumstances. However, some situations afford us the stillness to contemplate the heavenly purpose. Breathing fresh air and life in us, only His anointing can make sense of it, lightening our burdens, pacing our exhalations. Only in His presence do we feel safety, compassion, understanding, and peace that surpasses all reasoning. That peace is what gets us from this moment to the next until the emptiness is filled again. This renewal brings us to revelation, be it reaching out to ones in strife or finally completing a task we were called to do. Accordingly, let us endeavor to never waste another breath.

Job 33:4 “For the Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life”.

In Loving Memory of Jolie